Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
