We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
