I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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