He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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