Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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