Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
