Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
