So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
