I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
