It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
