how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
