I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize