You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
