well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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