i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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