D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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