There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
