last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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