and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
