I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
