sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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