my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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