My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
