i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
