oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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