Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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