Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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