I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
