The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
