that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
