my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize