FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
