i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
