I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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