Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
