I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
