This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
