At least make sure they are 18
Why
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
