I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
