yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
