Whoa Z and x make the same sound
4 words: hood of his car
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
