I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize