Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i out mim tonsoeep
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