can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
