Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

If I go to jail what happens to my debt?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

You dont have to pay it.

(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to jail.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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(831): View more from California

My boss' voice literally gives me gas

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(520): View more from Arizona

There was a lot of him and a little penis

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(614): View more from Ohio

So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...

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(863): View more from Florida

I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign

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(765): View more from Indiana

I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro

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