I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
