i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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