he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
