Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
