My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
