I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
