so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
