this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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