can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
