I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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