Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
