fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
its liver damage thursday
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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